Christmas! The most wonderful time of the year.
That is true for some people, but for many people it is the most stressful time of the year. There is so much TO DO!
We often fill our Christmas season with attempts to continue traditions that aren’t even that important to us. Decorating a big Christmas tree, buying, wrapping and delivering lots of presents, attending Midnight Mass, baking Christmas cookies, making that favorite dish for Christmas dinner, sending Christmas cards, hanging lights outside the house, driving around town looking at how other homes are decorated, Christmas parties with friends and coworkers, family gatherings, listening to Christmas music, wearing holiday-themed clothing and jewelry, watching favorite Christmas movies—we try to cram it all in. And in the process, these perceived obligations let all the joy drain from us.
During the first couple centuries after Jesus’ birth, the Christian church discouraged the celebration of the birth of any saint—including the birth of Jesus. By 336 AD, the Christian church in Rome started celebrating the birth of Jesus on the same day Romans had already been celebrating the winter solstice in observance of the “birthday of the unconquered sun.” (The days after the winter solstice start getting longer, so the sun was returning, unable to be conquered.) Christmas took on liturgical significance in the 9th century. It wasn’t until the Renaissance that traditions at all similar to our current ones were adopted. By the 1800’s Christmas started being celebrated as not just a religious holiday but as a secular one as well.
Christmas traditions have been evolving for centuries. They vary between countries, ethnicities, religions and families. But what does Christmas mean to YOU? Which activities support that?
For me, a Christmas tree is a must—because the principle of light and en-LIGHTenment is important to me. I couldn’t care less about Christmas dinner; in fact, my family of origin went out to a Chinese restaurant a couple years. Which Christmas activities are most important for you to do so you can enjoy Christmas instead of being so stressed it separates you from the people you love?
Decide now which activities really give you joy in the holiday season. Is the tree important? By all means decorate it. Is sending Christmas cards more important? Do that first. Or instead of spending the time to hand-write each message and mail it, maybe you find a digital Christmas greeting to email, which takes far less time. How many presents really need to be bought? Sometimes we end up being expected to spend money on presents for people we barely know.
Christmas is a time to set boundaries. That may seem counter-intuitive, but if you are not deciding for yourself what is most important in your celebration, you are letting other people, who may see it very differently than you, decide. If Midnight Mass is important to your grandmother but has no significance for you, let her go by herself or find someone else to go with who also values it. Or you choose to go as an expression of your love for her.
Some people judge others because the way that other person celebrates Christmas is different than their own tradition. At a time when Peace on Earth is glorified, this judgement serves to separate us. Sometimes we think everyone should view Christmas as we do. Why? For some, it is a holy day, but for others it has no religious significance, and is only about the songs and movies. Some Jews and Muslims celebrate Christmas, but from a different view than a Catholic or evangelical Christian. Rejoice in each person celebrating the way they want while also rejoicing that you can celebrate the way you want. In families where there are shared traditions, pick the ones most important to you, while being willing to compromise or negotiate on others because you love them. But choose mindfully.
There are a few values most people agree on around Christmas: peace on earth, good will to all humanity, fun, joy, love. Those are powerful ideas to embrace when we see someone celebrating in whatever manner feels comfortable to them as you celebrate in a way that feels comfortable—and joyful—to you.
As we enter this Christmas season, may each one of us know what Christmas means to US, know which activities are most important in support that meaning, and express compassion as every other person decides the same thing for themselves.
May this Christmas truly be the most wonderful time of the year.
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